Given the latest news of the ongoing economic disaster, we thought it prudent to bring back our “How to Survive The Depression of 2009!” guide for you below.

But first, a few words on investment schemes:

Now, while intelligent investing in businesses is a worthwhile endeavor, it is rare. If you are intelligent and savy, and a little unethical, then pumping money into the NASDAQ business investor framework, otherwise known as the U.S. stock exchange, can be very lucrative even during down times.

Few people, however, are of that type of intelligent investor, so they either take all their money and spend it on the lotto or booze, or they blindly hand over their fortunes to some financial management entity.

At this point in the crashing stock market, if you don’t know exactly how your money is invested in uninsured stocks and bonds (meaning which companies and their financial stability during a downturn), then you have no business playing a stake in them. Sell now and get the cash. When the market collapses, buy up the good values.

To get a complete grasp of where you are at financially, review your uninsured investments, complete a financial inventory worksheet, and start a budget.

The least we can do is provide you with a few tips to peruse on weathering the coming economic onslaught:

How to Survive The Depression of 2009! Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Frugality! Survival Guides!

The time to change your lifestyle is now. Here are a few tips to help you survive The Depression of 2009, and worse:

1. Gasbuddy.com can show you where to shave a few pennies at the gas pump. While you’re out getting gas, pick up a “For Sale” sign for your SUV and second car. Sell the SUV now, it will be worthless shortly. To further reduce transportation costs, start carpooling, riding the bus, or walking. Walkable.org can assist you in converting your community over to becoming walkable. You’re not out of the woods yet, though.
2. Forget about the house you bought within the housing bubble—it’s worthless, like the SUV. Sell your overvalued property now. If you keep waiting like everyone else, it will be worth little of what you paid for it. Owning some cheap property is good, as is converting most of your material wealth and investments to cash.
3. Cash is king during a recession. Banks are insured to $100,000 so they should be safe, unless the dollar is ravaged by inflation and wheelbarrows of green paper will be needed to buy a loaf of Wonder® Bread. When real estate and investment markets collapse, use your cash to snap up good values.
4. Learn to scrimp and save, cut coupons, eat less but healthy (like one slice of deli turkey-ham), and drink water instead of packaged drinks. Shop at thrift stores, discount grocers, and used and dented goods outlets. Forget about big purchases. Check craigslist.org, ebay.com, slickdeals.net or fatwallet.com for deals. Haggle with salespersons for a lower price. Go to the library and read a book on saving money. Read some frugality tips at frugalfolks.com
5. When the economy turns really ugly, hoard dry goods such as flour, rice, canned beans and fruit, etc., and barrels of clean drinking water. Grow a vegetable garden and raise some chickens. Purchase a gun with sufficient ammunition, and know how to use it responsibly for hunting and defense. Familiarize yourself with survivalist information (survivalist.info).
6. If you find yourself living on the street, study up on tips for success at homelessness: (homelessness.blogspot.com). When that gets old, retire to the wilds and live off nature: US Army Survival Manual FM 21-76 (outdoors-magazine.com).
7. When economic hard times turn into widespread disease, crop failure, fighting, and then global nuclear war, learn what to do when the world has been irradiated: Nuclear War Survival Skills (oism.org).