If the Muslims were to invade the United States tomorrow, would it be worthwhile to defend ourselves?

With divorce, gay marriage, teen sex, abortion, pornography, drugs, illegal immigrants, bankrupt governments, bursting prisons, and the wearing of cocktail dresses and logo T-shirts to church becoming the de facto standard of societal behavior, what is worth defending about the U.S.?

True, there are hamlets of healthy, respectably dressed and moral people scattered about, like in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. However, the Amish are just .00066 percent of the total U.S. population. How did the rest of us get derailed so thoroughly and spectacularly?

It could be the fault of our doping, hippy parents, or possibly bad genetics, but certainly the cumulative damage we have endured needs an abrupt and lasting fix.

Therefore, and with no hesitation, if the Muslims could tone down their violence, genital mutilations, burqa requirements, and a few other distasteful habits, an Islamicized United States would greatly benefit us all.

Immediately, the divorce rate would go down, drugs would be eliminated, children would stop screwing each other, the worst of pornography would be an old Playboy magazine smuggled in, sodomy would be unthinkable, and cocktail dresses and logo T-shirts wouldn’t even be worn in the public street!

Still unsure? Consider this: In post-U.S. Islamicization, a female would not have the freedom to slip on a thong and stretch pants and go down to the neighborhood bar and bed a John Doe at the hourly rate motel.

Primarily, the reason she couldn’t do that is because of her Islamic upbringing and the shame it would bring on her family. Also, the neighborhood police officer would arrest her for lewdness. Finally, there would be no hourly rate motel and no hotel desk clerk would allow an unmarried couple to stay overnight. That’s three layers of protection with no need for a condom!