…There is no longer any room for hope. If we wish to be free–if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending–if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained–we must fight! I repeat it, sir, we must fight! An appeal to arms and to the God of hosts is all that is left us!

They tell us, sir, that we are weak; unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? Will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when a British guard shall be stationed in every house? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot? Sir, we are not weak if we make a proper use of those means which the God of nature hath placed in our power.

The millions of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a country as that which we possess, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations, and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable–and let it come! I repeat it, sir, let it come.

It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace–but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! (gutenberg.org)

—Patrick Henry (1736-1799)

White women across America are pouting into their doily handkerchiefs and craning their necks back to reassess their matchstick collarbones and shapeless rear ends after being made aware of a black woman who goes by the name Beyonce.

Some women, like white homemaker Suzy Jane Timmons, are joining exercise gyms and eating more food in response.

“I looked at myself in the mirror a few months ago, spun around, and said ‘I have got to get some bump on my butt’,” explained Mrs. Timmons.

“It was so easy to get my sagging behind and frail shoulders strong again. I just did it — like that commercial, you know? Just do it.”

A man who called himself Outraged Richard interrupted the interview and spoke into the microphone:

“That’s what I’m talking about! A black woman is more shapely than a white woman. Stronger too. There’s no way I would want a white woman in the war trenches with me, but that’s what they might do to me with all that women’s rights crap,” Mr. Outraged remarked.

“Take a look at this. You tell me…” Mr. Outraged announced while pulling out a small color LCD TV.

“Case closed!” Outraged Richard declared.

“I’ll say also that a black woman can cook better than some pasty faced frightened white woman. When it comes time for chow and we’re in the middle of a firefight, I know we’ll be eating some good chicken and collard greens, not some Rice-A-Roni and cottage cheese or whatever those white women cook. We can really take it to the enemy on a meal like that.”

A new category hath been announced at the outragedrichard.com website. It shall be called “Asketh Outraged Richard”!

One answer satisfies thousands of questions. Conversely, one question does not have thousands of answers.

Send in your queries, gentle folk, through the Contact form and The Outraged One assuredly will not dally in answering.

Question:

Okay, so here is my question. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and have been friends for over three years. We had been sleeping together for quite a while and then in August, he stopped having sex with me. We still sleep in the same bed every now and then, and when I try to initiate any kind of “action,” he will push me away.

Now he had told me that there is no one else and he hasn’t been seeing anyone else at all, but one thing he does say is that we have some classes to take and he wants to wait until those are over with. Why all of a sudden does he stop sleeping with me and make this excuse for a class being in the way? Am I off my rocker or what is the deal?

Answereth Outraged Richard:

Who would want to have a committed relationship with a whore? No decent man, surely.

In what way are you and your boyfriend “together”? You are not together in commitment or devotion. However, you are both together in immediacy and disgrace — like dogs in heat locked together in brief embrace in the gutter.

If a man truly loves a woman he will show fidelity and be patient of what you call “action”. A decent woman will show modesty and not give of herself bodily until bound in permanence to a good man. The reason for this is that the bodily union of a man and woman is not a trifling affair, and this must you realize.

Go now and keep a healthy distance from that filthy dog of a boyfriend. For a lengthy time, only have afternoon tea with gentlemen and keep them away from your naughty bits.

19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the
    world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their
    deeds were evil.

20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh
    to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.

21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds
    may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God….(gutenberg.org)

—The Bible, King James, Book 43: John 3