It was said that one man, Richard "Rick" Pollitt, was going to save the people of Wicomico County from their brutish lives of ignorance and darkness.

It was said he was a "great man", "could get things done", and was going to "clean house": statements which the citizens awed and cooed over — until a lone man sitting high up on some aluminum press corp bleachers shouted down:

Pollitt? Clean house? I say Pollitt can't even clean himself and an honest effort by him to do so is an over sudsing of the sewer pipes and an exploitation of water resources!

But assuming Pollitt's hygiene is adequate at best, what of his attempts to scrub others down with his soap?

I tell you Pollitt only knows the degree of cleanliness that will pass the muster of the average "Pollitt Soapdown and Warsh Off," a degree which the average person's nose would assuredly balk at.

For example, if Pollitt is unable or unwilling to clean underneath the lower third role of flab overhang on the bottom half of his back, will he not also be unwilling or unable to clean similar areas on other people? And if 60 percent of Wicomicountians are plush with rolls of flab would this not present a most disagreeable and malodorous situation?

In the unlikely event that Pollitt knuckles down and honestly applies the "Pollitt Soapdown and Warsh Off" to others with water and soap aplenty in the same amounts he uses himself, will not a total environmental catastrophe result? and a drowning and inundation of the good and bad folk alike and all their many Wal-mart plastic things?

The lone man's name? Outraged Richard, speaking of Wicomico County Executive Richard "Rick" Pollitt when running for office in 2006.

Pollitt, a man who created a website: ricksfriends.com, that stated his campaign's promises and principles — a website which he promptly erased once he was elected.

But hearken closely dear friends and detractors! Pollitt's promises and principles live on at outragedrichard.com in an ongoing series of revived past posts.

Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you in all his folds of glory and empty campaign promises amidst puffs of confectioner's sugar and glazed donuts… Pollitt!