A man known only as 'Outraged Richard' held an urgent press conference on the steps of the town hall in quaint Delmar, Delaware situated in the pleasant midst of the Chesapeake peninsula.

Following the uproar by the general public over recent racial overtones and insinuations in recent postings on his website outragedrichard.com, the Outraged One, as he is fondly called by his followers, preceded his speech to the gathered press and common folk by pulling and dangling raucously on the town hall bell's rope for several minutes.

When cries of, "Get on with it, then!" and "Stone him!" with the occasional "Queer Bird!" began resounding regularly from the gathering, Outraged Richard let off of the bell rope, cleared his throat, then roared out, "Hear ye! Hear ye! Come hither peasants and press!"

One portly gentleman with thick waterman's hands stepped forward and bellowed back to the speaker's podium, "Are ye daft? We're all here! Speak your mind!"

"Why, the insolence!" muttered the Outraged One under his breath, then gathered himself and trumpeted the following at the throng:

"I have made a grievous error in recent disparaging remarks towards my fellow white and black man. I have been exceedingly unkind and most, if not all of you, have accused me of being a racist."

"I hereby announce my sincerest and most humble apologies to those who were, may have been, might have been, or even will be, offended by my insensitive, biased, and racial remarks."

"Now then, would the black and white people's representatives please step forward, the honorable Reverend Alfred 'Al' Sharpton and former U.S. President William 'Billy' Clinton?"

The Outraged One then touched and clung together with the two representatives individually and together in a 'group hug' within which The Outraged One shed tears and wept solemnly until there was a general consensus that he was indeed regretful at the statements he had previously made.

"Peasants! Gentle Folk!" Outraged Richard thusly addressed the crowd. "As I know a man can regret what he says but still hold dear in his heart the very afflictions he claims to regret, I shall now commence with meaningful action… and not a moment too soon! Alfred, come hither to the podium and pray, hand over that pick and comb in your back pocket. Your hair is assembling itself more on one side than the other!"

The Outraged One began delicately and lovingly picking and grooming Al's hair mass, remarking frequently how it was most certainly a "beautiful head of hair." When the hair was reassembled and balanced and properly greased down and fluffed, Outraged Richard boomed out, "Now Billy! As I am not partial today to warshing your feet, let the next best suffice."

"Is there a young pleasantly plump pretty female in attendance today who, shall we say, oft' gains a rosy complexion in the late hours? You there! That's it! Come up here and pay homage to Billy, former President of the United States!"

Without a moment lost, Billy began pawing at the poor lass' clothing which consisted of nothing but a short skirt, a halter top, and a pair of shoes. With no undergarments as a second layer of defense the girl soon stood naked before all and amply so.

Just before Billy began clutching and groping the quite willing and enthusiastic girl, the Outraged One stepped betwixt the two, stating, "It was but a joke, you foul man. Have you truly no sense of decency?"

"Peasants!" Outraged Richard addressed the crowd, "Let this be a lesson to you all of when a man has a change of heart! As it is the black man I may truly console with, as you evidently saw by our combin's and pickin's together, the white man utterly lacks that most fundamental trait of compassion. Therefore I retract my apology to the white man, and give all my sincerest heartfelt apologies towards the black man."

Those in attendance nodded in affirmation and quietly filed back to their homes and families, to rest their weary souls on the couch in time for the Ball Game—where on little lit up glass screens throughout the neighborhood, the throws, catches, swaying paunches, and arching tobacco spittle seemed somehow more meaningful this night than the same proceedings last week.

I had a Mother who read to me
Sagas of pirates who scoured the sea,
Cutlasses clenched in their yellow teeth,
"Blackbirds" stowed in the hold beneath.

I had a Mother who read me lays
Of ancient and gallant and golden days;
Stories of Marmion and Ivanhoe,
Which every boy has a right to know.

I had a Mother who read me tales
Of Gelert the hound of the hills of Wales,
True to his trust till his tragic death,
Faithfulness blent with his final breath.

I had a Mother who read me the things
That wholesome life to the boy heart brings —
Stories that stir with an upward touch,
Oh, that each mother of boys were such!

You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be —
I had a Mother who read to me.

—Strickland Gillilan (1869-1954)

The White Man is at it again, meddling with yet another hapless member of the creature world. This time - bees. Across the globe bees are disappearing at an alarming rate.

Could it be the result of apocalyptic loads of toxic chemicals poor Mother Earth has endured regularly for the last century? What about the complete desecration of the various ecosystems that breaks the interdependence of Earth's myriad creatures?

Doesn't sound plausible enough? Then perhaps the explanation for the bees' die off is from the bombardment of frequencies and radiation from cell phones, electrical fields and the like, causing them disorientation and to lead foot around with their 'bee dance' method of communicating among themselves?

Woe is man! One of Earth's most humble and social creatures, the honey bees, are breathing their last little bee breaths all because the White Man and his Bible thumper friends sought dominance over the land and its creatures.

The innocent are always the first to suffer. 

Beekeeper James Doan first began finding empty hives last fall. Entire bee colonies seemed to have up and vanished, leaving their honey behind. Noting the unusually wet fall in Hamlin, N.Y., he blamed the weather. Unable to forage in the rain, the bees probably starved, he reasoned.

But when deserted hives began appearing daily, "we knew it was something different," he says. Now, at the beginning of the 2007 pollination season, more than half of his 4,300 hives are gone. "I'm just about ready to give up," says Mr. Doan from his honeybee wintering site in Ft. Meade, Fla. "I'm not sure I can survive."

The cause of the die-offs has yet to be determined. Its effect on the food supply may be significant. Longer-term, it may also force a rethinking of some agricultural practices including our heavy reliance on human-managed bees for pollination.

Scientists call it "colony collapse disorder" (CCD). First reported in Florida last fall, the problem has since spread to 24 states. Commercial beekeepers are reporting losses of between 50 and 90 percent, an unprecedented amount even for an industry accustomed to die-offs…. (Christian Science Monitor)

Strange, do not the illegal hordes of Latinos rummaging and rubbing through the fields pollinate the crops and vegetables sufficiently and therefore serve as an adequate replacement for the bees?