In a stunning announcement, Outraged Richard admitted he has been married for two months to a gay male prostitute who previously plied his trade within the town of Salisbury, Maryland.

Known for vehemently denouncing the homosexual lifestyle on his website outragedrichard.com in favor of only a man and woman being sexually together within matrimony, his followers and detractors were taken aback by his sudden reversal on the homosexual lifestyle.

A marriage ceremony picture released to the public confirmed that the gay marriage announcement was not a prank.

In a press release, Outraged Richard detailed the sordid story:

“It was too exciting for me to sodomize and sin, despite my better judgment, and I let my baser instincts take over me in wanton abandonment. I would feel guilty afterwards which would heighten the pleasures of the next abomination.”

“It started off with cruising Main Street, Salisbury for the loitering man or boy with a lustful glint in his eye. I had an interest in a committed relationship, however, and I developed an affection towards a middle aged gentleman who I became a regular customer of.”

“We would retire to my abode, get sweaty and angry at one another and then engage in Methamphetamine fueled gay sex. Another lucrative abomination he practiced was drug dealing so he would throw the Meth in the sexual mix to get things really riled up. All hell broke loose after that.”

“We would go absolutely crazy and start yellin’ and cussin’ and sexin’ and spittin’ at one another. Most of the time a Hazmat team would have to come in and clean up afterwards. On one regretful occasion we painted his rental house up so terribly it was declared a Superfund site.”

“That’s when he, being homeless, moved in with me and the thought of marriage entertained our minds.”

“We were married in an extremely private ceremony which we have been keeping secret until now. At first, we felt so oppressed and shameful at the thought of sharing our newfound togetherness and commitments with the world. But we both decided it was better to come out of hiding and tell everyone about us, for better or worse, and preferably to tell those not on a full stomach.”

“The engagement ring was from Sam’s Club and when he slipped it on my finger at the beginning of our “All Gay Mediterranean–Roman Empire Ship Cruise” three months ago, my heart leapt with excitement—a future of continuous enticements of sweating and frolicking was all mine!

“Unfortunately, we lost the ring a month later during our honeymoon night. While my fingers were occupied in his nether regions the ring slipped off and likely lodged within some partially digested pâté.”

“I swooned immediately, whereupon he pranced to my side to console me, holding me and telling me everything was going to be all right. The next day my lover was diligently searching his dung for the prized piece of jewelry but claimed he could not find anything of value.”

“Since then, our relationship has grown strained. I suspect he was half hearted in his attempts to retrieve the ring, and the ring is laying directly in front of the sewer pipe outlet on the bottom of the Wicomico River underneath a think layer of muck.”

“In an attempt to appease my emotional distress at his perceived unfaithfulness, he proposed the idea of having a child, which I agreed to do. We stuffed a fetus from Planned Parenthood and a tube into his rectal cavity and pumped in a slurry of McDonald’s Double Quarter Pounders® with Cheese and McShakes®… and crossed our fingers. To our dismay the child was aborted posthaste, further straining our relationship.”

“Our belief in the original founding principle to help guide our gay pregnancy, ‘Where a flower grows in the foulest of soils, a blessing will be put,’ which our Church added as an addendum to the Bible they set out for the assembled brethren, was shattered. We are now in consultation with the Episcopal Church to annul our marriage and strike it from existence.”

Asked if his partner, who goes by the name of Lil’ Bitch, was upset at the marriage and ornery gay couplings, Outraged Richard replied:

“No, she respects diversity and different lifestyles. Honestly, I may be through with the abominations of sodomy and pre-marital sex. There is a special lady of virtue and integrity that I have favored of late. Her name is The Italian Beauty.”