On the purpose of satire, it is to take other people's suspect beliefs and habits and extend them, of their own volition, to the fire bell ringing point of absurdity.

Course language and mean spiritedness was long ago discarded by the practicing satirist as the children's playground choice of weapons and a crude substitute for properly trouncing poor arguments.

Since fools brilliantly display their own ignorance like a peacock, and humorously so in thinking they aren't what they are, what better than to tack on more dullness, lavishness, and ineptitude of the same cloth to those already satiated with it; then hold it all up in the sunlight for nearby onlookers, including the ignorant as if he did not recognize himself, to get an assured viewing angle of the stuporous and foppish.

The minority of viewers not taken with the view of a man carrying his testicles in a wheelbarrow, so to speak, know that for time eternity there will be a profligacy of like entertainment and no need to expend one's laughter too soon, but budgeted and timely to avoid fatiguing.

Beneath all the fun is the particular principle that the fool himself holds out with a slight instability that the satirist erects a more stable scaffolding under to show the intended direction and logical outcome, to be helpful.  It is this underlying principle or belief that the fool has so heavily invested in that is his weakness which, taken to the extreme by the satirist but not outside earshot of the dinner bell, puts the principle to the test of seaworthiness.

"Does it float?" a man asked of a fool who planned to put to sea a raft of lead.  "I built it with my own two hands!" the fool sung out.  "Then the Queen's fleet of ships should be scrapped and redesigned by your hands alone!" cried the man.  When the raft sunk at its inaugural launch the fool was fraught, but the man consoled him, "If it is true that what sinks can be raised, then your boat may be put upon the sea again."

The fool was comforted and inspired by these words for the time until years later he created a company selling stock in itself that craned the hunk of dead weight off the bottom of the harbor, turning the event into a great festival to which all the townspeople, the bulk of the stockholders, attended and cheered. For a short time the lead raft did indeed appear to float at sea, if only for the complications of machinery and floats that held it there.

The lead raft afterward had its mass affixed within a nautical museum, a sub company of the raft raising company, attesting to seafarers and their craft; but never mentioned the fact that the raft could not float of its own, only through props, for fear of offending the generosity of the raft maker, the fool, and a large donor to the museum. The display did very well financially and motivationally for aspiring inventors and many of the townspeople retired early by selling some of their stock and living off the remainder's dividends.

Absurdity and foolishness thus justifies and expands itself by cheering crowds, financial hopes, or by other means that have nothing to do with anything other than hearing themselves. Pointing out any sort of illogic to this kind of circular intent is beside their point of justifying illogic, and humoring the counter point only serves to anger and inspire the fool's efforts to build the lead raft doubly thick next time. But even a squirrel knows when his nuts have gone bad and to discard them before the upcoming winter.

Erasmus. Can there be a greater wielder of the pen?

But forasmuch as such as are born to the business of the world have some little sprinklings of reason more than the rest, yet that they may the better manage it, even in this as well as in other things, they call me to counsel; and I give them such as is worthy of myself, to wit, that they take to them a wife–a silly thing, God wot, and foolish, yet wanton and pleasant, by which means the roughness of the masculine temper is seasoned and sweetened by her folly.

For in that Plato seems to doubt under what genus he should put woman, to wit, that of rational creatures or brutes, he intended no other in it than to show the apparent folly of the sex. For if perhaps any of them goes about to be thought wiser than the rest, what else does she do but play the fool twice, as if a man should "teach a cow to dance," "a thing quite against the hair."

For as it doubles the crime if anyone should put a disguise upon Nature, or endeavor to bring her to that she will in no wise bear, according to that proverb of the Greeks, "An ape is an ape, though clad in scarlet;" so a woman is a woman still, that is to say foolish, let her put on whatever vizard she please.  

But, by the way, I hope that sex is not so foolish as to take offense at this, that I myself, being a woman, and Folly too, have attributed folly to them. For if they weigh it right, they needs must acknowledge that they owe it to folly that they are more fortunate than men.

As first their beauty, which, and that not without cause, they prefer before everything, since by its means they exercise a tyranny even upon tyrants themselves; otherwise, whence proceeds that sour look, rough skin, bushy beard, and such other things as speak plain old age in a man, but from that disease of wisdom? Whereas women's cheeks are ever plump and smooth, their voice small, their skin soft, as if they imitated a certain kind of perpetual youth.

Again, what greater thing do they wish in their whole lives than that they may please the man? For to what other purpose are all those dresses, washes, baths, slops, perfumes, and those several little tricks of setting their faces, painting their eyebrows, and smoothing their skins? And now tell me, what higher letters of recommendation have they to men than this folly? For what is it they do not permit them to do? And to what other purpose than that of pleasure? 

Wherein yet their folly is not the least thing that pleases; which so true it is, I think no one will deny, that does but consider with himself, what foolish discourse and odd gambols pass between a man and his woman, as often as he had a mind to be gamesome? And so I have shown you whence the first and chiefest delight of man's life springs…. (The Praise of Folly)

—Desiderius Erasmus (1466 – 1536) 

Jonathan Swift, a most ingenious purveyor of absurdity—arguably the greatest: 

There was a most ingenious doctor, who seemed to be perfectly versed in the whole nature and system of government.  This illustrious person had very usefully employed his studies, in finding out effectual remedies for all diseases and corruptions to which the several kinds of public administration are subject, by the vices or infirmities of those who govern, as well as by the licentiousness of those who are to obey. 

For instance: whereas all writers and reasoners have agreed, that there is a strict universal resemblance between the natural and the political body; can there be any thing more evident, than that the health of both must be preserved, and the diseases cured, by the same prescriptions? 

It is allowed, that senates and great councils are often troubled with redundant, ebullient, and other peccant humours; with many diseases of the head, and more of the heart; with strong convulsions, with grievous contractions of the nerves and sinews in both hands, but especially the right; with spleen, flatus, vertigos, and deliriums; with scrofulous tumours, full of fetid purulent matter; with sour frothy ructations: with canine appetites, and crudeness of digestion, besides many others, needless to mention. 

This doctor therefore proposed, “that upon the meeting of the senate, certain physicians should attend it the three first days of their sitting, and at the close of each day’s debate feel the pulses of every senator; after which, having maturely considered and consulted upon the nature of the several maladies, and the methods of cure, they should on the fourth day return to the senate house, attended by their apothecaries stored with proper medicines; and before the members sat, administer to each of them lenitives, aperitives, abstersives, corrosives, restringents, palliatives, laxatives, cephalalgics, icterics, apophlegmatics, acoustics, as their several cases required; and, according as these medicines should operate, repeat, alter, or omit them, at the next meeting.”… (Gulliver's Travels)

—Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)

On March 30, 2001 Dr. Laura Schlessinger's TV show promoting good family values, such as heterosexual marriage being the proper forum for sexual union, was canceled largely through the efforts of StopDrLaura.com, a loosely arranged organization of five friends who raised their unholy heads up to howl for pedophilia, bestiality and, lastly, homosexuality rights.

Who were these five friends? Their names, intoned one by one with a tolling bell while a fiery sky rains down brimstone and ash, are: John Aravosis, Joel Lawson, William Waybourn, Alan Klein and Robin Tyler.

Why was homosexuality last on their list of "rights" to be accepted in contempt of Dr. Laura's version of proper sexuality between a man and a woman? Because the principles which justify human actions are in a fundamental way more important than the action itself. Thus, the unbounded and mix-matched principles that homosexuality is founded on justifies more significant and debaucherous actions like pedophilia which eclipses its lesser homosexual brethren. And a good showman always starts his circus with a grand display.

Which companies trumpeted profits and perversion over proper principles by pulling their advertisements at the behest of the five friends' boycott? Again the bell tolls deeply while the heavens open up and loosen a torrent of ash and fiery rubble upon the following named companies, in convenient alphabetical order: 

24 Hour Fitness, America's Best (Eyewear), AR Pioneer Chiropractic & Carpal Tunnel Clinic, Arm & Hammer, Bally Total Fitness, Bar-None, Boot Town, Brentwood Volvo, Brink's, Canada Savings Bond, CareFirst BlueCross BlueShield, CB Fleet (Summer's Eve), Checkers, Chef Boyardee, Children's Museum, Ciener-Woods Ford, Clearnet, Closet World, Coca-Cola, Conair, Concord Insurance, Craftmatic Adjustable Beds, David's Bridal, Denny's, Diet-ZX, Discount Dresses, Discounter, Domino's Pizza, Eckerd Corporation, Fantom Technologies, GEICO, George Foreman Grill (Salton), Giant, Glaxo Wellcome (Valtrex), Hospital for Special Surgery, Icy-Hot, IHOP (did not approve ads), Ikea, Jacoby & Meyers, Jennifer Furniture, John Corzine for Senate (NJ), Kaiser Permanente, Kimberly-Clark (Scott TP), Kraft, Les Vogel Dodge (CA), Liberty Medical Supply, Long John Silver's Seafood, Lowes, Luxor Resort & Casino, MAACO (Canada), Magic Wallet, Maple Leaf Foods, Mattress, Medieval Times, Mervyn's, New Homes Preview, Novartis, Oldsmobile, Ontel, Pacific Gas & Electric, PETsMART, Pfizer, Pillsbury, Renaissance Cruises, Rite-Aid, Robb & Stucky, Ltd., Roman Meal, Ross Stores, Royal Bank, Rubenstein & Rynecki, Schering-Plough, Sears (did not approve ads), Slim-Fast, Spooky World, Starpower Internet, Steak n Shake, Stephen's Gourmet, Stonestreet Capital, Sybaris, Temple Kung Fu, Tetley Tea, Texaco, Time Life, Inc., Torso Track (Suzanne Somers), Toyota, Tri-City Sporting Goods (CA), Unilever (Brummel & Brown), US Sen. Candidate Mark Dayton (D-MN), USA Today, Verizon, Victory Ford, Washington State Lottery, Winner Int'l (The Club), Workopolis, Zatarain's.

Recognize any? With further research, the inquiring mind would discover that the vast majority of major U.S. corporations are holding up a man's rear end as the highest form of love like Atlas holding up the World.

Backtrack to October 13, 2000 and one month into the Dr. Laura TV show: Stunned by the onslaught of the homosexual rights mantra from the Stop Dr. Laura folk, Dr. Laura bowed her head in humility and hypocrisy and begged the revolting rabble for their forgiveness, advertising a full page apology to them in the Gay Hollywood edition of Daily Variety. A decent woman with motherly advice was finally broken down to the level of the gutter.

On her radio show, the last vestige of her entertainment foray, Dr. Laura now speaks in hushed tones when answering questions involving homosexuality. A paleness falls over her complexion. Her voice tightens as she remembers when her belief in only a man and woman being together sexually within holy matrimony was rag dolled and dragged down into the muck and had to dig itself out with appeasing breast strokes.

Strangely, no real discourse was given throughout the Stop Dr. Laura campaign on why homosexuality should be accepted and not denounced, only the usual defense that homosexuality is an "expression" and through other sham and worthless arguments that largely serve as a distractive cover for the "ace in the hole" belief that worshiping a man's rear end is the highest form of love. 

And so the original five friends and their misdeeds will be recorded along with the morass of companies that went along with them. Soon, they will be held accountable by the gentle folk among us puttering along with a few shared values in mind. The Age of Morality will be upon us! but most likely not until two sodomites are erected up into The White House as the proper role models for us to emulate. Only then, and when the presidential partners adopt a son and daughter, will we lift our noses from our Froot Loops and our eyes from the Ball Game to challenge this newest standard of absurdity.

You've seen the shopping carts overladen with blister packs of Chinese plastic wheeled violently about by fleshy females.  Screeching urchins direct the careening cart from aisle to aisle, toy to toy, aghast at the excitement of it all and unbeknown to the horrors that will be implanted into them for the rest of their lives.

Blister packed toys have taken on a sinister and degrading quality ever since the production line concept took effect.  The dazzling array of toys to choose from made possible by the efficiency of numbers empowers a dangerous connection between business marketing and your child. Take a look at any toy and convince yourself that envy, sloth, gluttony, wrath, pride, lust, or greed are not the principle components.

The packaging convinces you otherwise, however, and makes the toy seem so appropriate for the child's "age level."  Parents living a life of quiet or furious desperation mistakenly trust the toy making adeptness of others from a standpoint of convenience. Questioning the connection between child and toy never arises. The bond of supervision and guidance between parent and child has been broken.

Important questions concerning a children's toy, its longevity, appropriateness, or overall value are dwarfed by the sheer quantities that can be had for very few dollars or for the mere sensation of "having it all." A Snoop Dog doll (named after a rapper who glorifies drugs, murder, and degrades women) that breaks in a month matter little if it costs $2.87 after a "Door Busting Markdown" special, especially when a Barbie Doll, Back Street Boys doll, or Britney Spears doll are equal and quick replacements. The sham of cheapness and convenience hide the lack of quality and debauchery of toys.

The better part of toys, their creative, learning, meaningful, and fun aspects have been discarded by the progression of modern materialism. The lack of creativity involving an assembly wrought toy is obvious and the learning potential of the toy is often not in line with the child's better and more meaningful development. Hence the fun of toys is quickly undermined, especially when among a sea of toys the sense of having everything leads to having no toy in particular.

Thus, children's future living habits are muddled and attention spans are wrecked to a flickering immediacy.  Toys do mean something and affect a child in the most fundamental ways.  Toys are an aspect of play that the child engages in to test and set the stage for their adulthood.

The convenience and lack of value so prevalent in today's toys leads the child to eventually litter the plastic wrappers off cigarette packs — a minor injustice to be sure but one that sets the tone for adulthood like stripping the clothing wrappers off multiple females, not unlike the old game of musical chairs but in the new modern form of musical beds and "consensual" sex.

Piles of toys precariously balanced in replacement of childhood friends lead to a secluded life of accumulation where, in the end, firemen battle past towering heaps of garbage, empty tomato sauce cans, and 30 years worth of junk mail to retrieve your stinking carcass.

A doll can be made with a block of wood wrapped in cloth and the yo-yo is a source of endless delight which, incidentally, is easily made with simple materials. The latter is a valuable learning experience for both you and your child, creatively fun and informative.