Joseph and Robin Wirthlin of Massachusetts have filed a Federal lawsuit against Lexington school officials for refusing to notify them of a teacher's reading to their second grade son of a story about two princes falling in love. (edgeboston.com)

Soviet brainwashing expert Leoned Jughashvili said the second grade was an appropriate grade level to "mold young minds into accepting sodomite, lesbian, pedophile, and other odd sexual practices."

Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao agreed, adding, "OK, you tie little kid down to Big Wheel toy, play Brokeback Mountain, The Rosy O'Donnell Show reruns, and Fisting: How To DVD on overhead LCD TV for 72 hour straight."

Premier Jiabao then elevated his voice and screeched, "Now we take away LCD TV! Kid go crazy! Kid goes all the time to San Francisco Bath House. Ha! Ha! This how we destroy America: No more baby making!"

North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) quietly reiterated their slogan, "Sex by eight or else it's too late." NAMBLA spokesperson Bernard Law mentioned that "plying the younger psyche with alcohol, drugs, and video games helps too."

Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Rapunzel of the classical fairy tale stories have filed unemployment claims with the Massachusetts Department of Workforce Development. 

Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney spoke hopefully and enterprisingly for the unemployed ladies:

These ladies are just in luck, we're working diligently on legalizing prostitution after a rousing success legalizing homosexual marriages. There should be a few night job openings soon which ladies of their caliber should have no trouble getting accepted at.