Television station behemoth ABC in a press release yesterday announced a minor change in the script for the popular show Desperate Housewives' upcoming season. Actress Terri Hatcher will be required to wear a large billboard reading, "Support Marriage as a Man and Woman Respectfully Together" as a prop to promote their cable television affiliate, the ABC Family station.

After the announcement, Hatcher's perverse enabling friends gathered around her for a promotional picture (see above).

"I've had so much fun on this show tempting men and women sexually and making a mockery of good values. Gosh, it's so rewarding to help people fail at being respectable and decent," Hatcher admitted, "but I'm just another amoral actor who has to pay the utility bills (giggling)."

She went on to reflect, "I don't mind promoting the Family Channel. I've been divorced before and my current husband has too, but we're a family now."

Not all responses were positive. OSHA (Occupational Safety & Health Administration) expressed concern about the heavy weight of the billboard, estimated at 16 pounds, and requested mandatory water breaks for Mrs. Hatcher every 20 minutes to better cope with the increased stress around her neck.

The NAACP complained that the white space on the billboard exceeds the area devoted to blackness.

From far up on some aluminum press corp bleachers, a man known as Outraged Richard shouted out, "Right! Show that promo picture to your lewd and debaucherous friends!"